I cleaned my office. It took all day. It has always been a challenge to keep a clear desk but this has been different. I never really settled into this room. When I moved in with Sylvia, she gave me the front bedroom, and I just dumped everything into it and worked around the piles of stuff for the last year and a half. I couldn’t face the mess that represented my life.
But I got a new filing cabinet and sorted through everything, considering each item and letting the memories come without being afraid. Paper clips, Tax returns, pictures, divorce decree, pension, journals, old checkbooks, pens, cards and notes from friends. I found things I thought I’d lost including an old laptop that had been buried under books and papers.
It wasn’t awful like I feared that it might be but the task made me reflective
My mind has been like my desk, with words, feelings, fears, and regrets piled high. But there is also joy mixed with hope and love. My writing has allowed me to reach into the cyclone of thoughts and pull out one or two at a time to examine. The winds of passion remain while some of the fear is abating. And like my desk, things are a little more orderly now.
I needed to organize my office and my mind in order to begin my next big work, which I’ll be sharing with you soon.