Always Ask a Woman Her Age

Women love it when I ask for their ID when they purchase alcohol.

“You really think I’m twenty-one?”

“What can I say?” I respond. “You look young to me.”

Some squeal and say they’re going to tell their grown kids that they got carded at the grocery store. 

I usually ask women to produce their ID even if it’s obvious they’re over twenty-one because once I told a woman I did NOT need to see hers. She was quite attractive but I could see she was closer to my age.  When she began to dig through her purse for her driver’s license, I said, “That’s okay, ma’am.”

“Oh,” she said, and looked despondent as she closed her bag.  I had hurt her feelings. I decided then I would never do that to a woman again. So I usually ask for a woman’s ID even if her great-grandchildren are accompanying her to the checkout stand.

Other guys should give this some thought, too.  Once, when I asked a woman for her ID, her husband spoke up:

“You’re asking for your ID? Why in the world would you do that? You really think she’s under twenty-one? I can’t believe it!

“Don’t you think she looks young, sir?” I said, trying to help him out. But he wasn’t getting it.

“For crying out loud,” he pressed.  “You don’t need to see her ID.”

Sir, I wanted to say, for your own sake, as well as for the sake of all Mankind, would you please shut the hell up?

I wonder if he survived the trip home. 

I remember another woman who was probably a grandmother but was pretty brash.  As I rang her up purchase, she looked me in the eye and gave me a flirtatious smile as she put a hand on her cocked hip.

“Do I need to show you my driver’s license?” she teased.

I grinned and said, “You’re much too sophisticated to be under twenty-one,… ma’am.”

Every time I work the register, I have at least one encounter where I ask the woman for her ID and she’s so delighted that she blurts out, “I love you!” 

To which I’ve learned to say:

“Yeah, sure… you probably to say that to all the cashiers…”