I wrote this a few years ago on my blog called Clergy Guy on January 14, 2012.
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Here are some words to a song that was popular in the fundamental conservative denomination in which I grew up.
Troublesome times are here,
filling men’s hearts with fear
Freedom we all hold dear now is at stake….
Jesus is coming soon,
morning or night or noon,
Many will meet their doom
Trumpets will sound….
Believe it or not, this was one of those “feel good” songs, where people stood up, swayed, and clapped their hands, smiling at each other, marveling at how they could worship and have fun at the same time.
Here’s another one:
It’s gonna rain. Yeah, it’s gonna rain
Oh, you better get ready and bear this in mind.
For God showed Noah the rainbow sign
It won’t be water, but fire this time….
The teenagers would rock to this one, using it as a way to get the joint jumping just before we had pizza and volleyball.
We had several other tunes that were catchy enough, but as anyone in their right minds could see, the message was full of anxiety, doom, and destruction.
It took me a long time to see how nutty we were: “We’re gonna be destroyed. We deserve it. Praise God!” And then we’d tell each other that heaven would be just like this.
It was more than conflicting. It reflected a crazy, schizoid lifestyle full of depression and anxiety.
When I became a minister within that community, I considered myself a reformer, someone who could help deliver us all from our craziness. My efforts were often not appreciated. I got into more trouble telling people they were okay, that God loved them, and that they were going to heaven.
After a few years, I quit trying to save the “saved,” and I moved on.
Now here’s something really odd to me. I get a weird nostalgia when I think of that crazy music. It’s part of my childhood. Sometimes it feels like it was somebody else’s life. I miss it.
Then I take an aspirin and lie down until the feeling passes.
I remember when I went from Presby USA to more evangelical/fundamentalist beliefs; I had a youth leader who didn’t like Amazing Grace because he didn’t think we were wretches; I was bothered by this because my faith was more focused on how unworthy and sinful we were. Once I left the faith, I realized how right he was and just how toxic so much theology is.
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